If one knows that one's family has been shattered - say by the serving of divorce papers from one spouse to the other, which is the better thing to do? Sleepwalk through the old holiday rituals, pretending that things are just as they always were, or refrain, knowing that things will never be that way again?
One other question - why are the presents that I paid for, and no one else paid for, still welcome at the Christmas celebration when I am not welcome there. Does money really mean that much?
And if I paid for the present, and I am not allowed to attend the party, then why does the tag still say it is from "Both of us?"
Am I petty for noticing that while my money apparently means nothing, your money and time are precious and should be appreciated and praised by all?
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As difficult as it is, I would not recommend either one of your options. Sleepwalking can be dangerous, as you never know where you will end up. Refraining...from what? Life, the enjoyment of the season?
ReplyDeleteIf life is taking you down a different path, my friend, I suggest you open your eyes to the newness around you and take it all in before deciding how to act or react.
As to your second question, if money doesn't really mean that much, why do you even bring it up. There is more than a hint of bitterness here. Another suggestion, if I may, would be to forget about the money temporarily and see if you can get rid of the bitter taste. I think you will find it to be much sweeter without the resentment.
Sometimes it is easier to see things more clearly from afar, which is where I am coming from. If I am wrong, I apologize. I comment only to help you see things from another point of view.
Look inside of yourself for these answers, and I think you will find them buried deep inside the hurt. It is good to vent, but be careful about taking your own advice when you are both hurt and angry. I fear it will only lead to more pain and anger.
Look to each new day, and to every old friend. That, I believe, is where you will find your peace.
Oh Lynda, I want to curse you for being so wise, but that would be foolhardy indeed.
ReplyDeleteIn cases like this, money has power because we give it power - the power to symbolize other things.
The money is a proxy for the real issue - rejection. How many times have I counseled others about this very same issue? How fortunate am I to know someone wise enough, and courageous enough, to remind me of this?
I shall do my best to keep your wise counsel with me today, on Christmas Eve.
Thank you.